I’m overwhelmed with intense anxiety. The reason being because I return to work tomorrow…It’s making today’s challenge even harder:

Describe a happy memory. What did you see, smell, hear, feel.

The anxiety won’t let me remember anything right now. I’m just a ball of nerves frozen with the possibilities of getting through tomorrow. The memory bank is closed.

“What if everyone knows why I’ve been gone? Will people stare? Will co-workers talk? Does my department hate me for bailing on them? What if people unintentionally baby me? Can I really make it through the half day?”

These are all thoughts that are flooding my head at the moment, nothing else exists.

I can at least work on a baby step, focusing on a positive. My dad helped me pay my gym membership as an early Christmas present. I have at least one more month of fitness to focus on; I am grateful for that, as it contributes toward my five year plan.

This will be a short post, I don’t want an anxiety attack to ensue. For tonight I’ll just practice my breathing exercises until I fall asleep. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.