30 Days of Anxiety: Day 4

Today I will take a break all to myself by doing cardio because it helps regulate my brain chemistry.

It was an up and down day, or I should say it backwards rather. I went back to work…temporarily. I misunderstood “Submit paperwork Friday” for, “Submit paperwork and come back to actually work Friday”, and I didn’t feel embarrassed about the mixup until I typed it out just now.

I went in to work a ball of nerves but they quickly faded as I got into a workflow before it abruptly ended. There was too much Christmas excitement going on in the office for anyone to have noticed that the crazy girl returned. What was there left to do with my day? Well I paid this gym membership yesterday with someone else’s money, best not to let that act of kindness go to waste.

I have to ease myself back in the gym as well. My cardio has never been great; I can’t run on a treadmill for more than five minutes, so I will work on that, not being so easily winded. I’m limited with my days because I have no headlights on my car (from a psychological break), and I can get carried away on a weight lifting program and spend all day in the gym doing a routine. It’s convenient right now to start with 30 minute HIIT cardio sessions for now.

I did the stair master today, interval setting on level 3 for 30 minutes. I’m hoping to build on that, at my fittest point in my life (149lbs) I could do the same on level 6. I’m excited to do so too, so we’ll see what happens with that and how my workouts evolve. Tomorrow I’ll choose another cardio machine and I’ll do HIIT to burn fat. One day I plan to do a HIIT cardio routine on a treadmill.

Most importantly, it made me feel good to get through doing cardio. Afterwards I took my dog for a 30 minute walk around the track at our local dog park. We know that exercise improves brain chemistry, and depression has kept me from doing what I love: feeling empowered to work out.

I could’ve sulked about my embarrassing morning and went home, I didn’t. I fought for my small accomplishments, my not sad mood (I’m not necessarily bouncing around with glee and excitement). Less call this a “low anxiety day”. It was a physically active day that I’m proud of, even if it was a small start.

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