It’s frustrating when you know that you can’t see your therapist to calm you down until after the new year. It’s a challenge to yourself to manage to keep your thoughts level and to find another safe outlet in between sessions. I’m at that wall where I need to talk to someone but I don’t have the resources. I need to turn my negative thoughts around someway, somehow. Today is supposed to be an appreciation day:
I’m thankful for my body because…
I’m not crazy about my body. It’s not my favorite thing at the moment. I guess I’m thankful that my weight gain is always in appropriate areas. My boobs and thighs grow, but my stomach is usually smaller in comparison. I guess that’s genetics. I’ve always been told that my shape is naturally athletic, whatever that means.
I’m thankful to know that my body has been 150lbs and in shape before, so that I know such a thing is doable again, despite how depressing things might be now. Speaking of which, I switched my 30 minute cardio session from Stairmaster to the elliptical. I did the same, HIIT interval with a level 3 setting. I’m seriously out of shape and that elliptical kicked the shit out of me today. I held on to the handle bars way too often, but my heart rate was in the 170s so the fat burning job was getting done. It’ll get easier, and when that happens I’ll have to start running on the treadmill.
I think I’m going to stick with the elliptical as my cardio machine for a while. I wanted to quit after the first five minutes, but I held on for the next twenty five. I feel sore all over so that’s a sign of positive things body-wise. In the new year I’ll start to work on nutrition, but remember, one baby step at a time.