It’s Not a Birthday Wish, but I’d Like it to Come True Anyway

My birthday is today. Reflecting back on the year there have been more down than ups. Failing mental health, a proper diagnosis, and a rocky reconstruction took up most of the year. This includes failed relationships and loneliness becoming my only friend while on a promising road to recovery.

Starting Over

I stopped writing about my days of anxiety; I got depressed. The redundancy of long dragging days waiting to go back to work trapped me. Pretty soon I was consumed by a huge dark cloud of anxiety and sadness. I couldn’t do anything, including writing over and over about how depressed I was. So I…

30 Days of Anxiety: Day 9

It’s only been nine days of writing. It feels like a month, but I’m not long-term conditioned for anything. You’d know that if you saw how easily I get winded from just walking.

30 Days of Anxiety: Day 8

Today I’m supposed to focus on two negative thoughts that I don’t want anymore, and what I can do to let them go. This one is a hard one, because sometimes it feels like my mind is nothing but a library of negative thoughts by category. The two that come to mind are thinking that…

30 Days of Anxiety: Day 7

It’s frustrating when you know that you can’t see your therapist to calm you down until after the new year. It’s a challenge to yourself to manage to keep your thoughts level and to find another safe outlet in between sessions. I’m at that wall where I need to talk to someone but I don’t…

30 Days of Anxiety: Day 4

Today I will take a break all to myself by doing cardio because it helps regulate my brain chemistry. It was an up and down day, or I should say it backwards rather. I went back to work…temporarily. I misunderstood “Submit paperwork Friday” for, “Submit paperwork and come back to actually work Friday”, and I…

30 Days of Anxiety: Day 2

So I found an interesting daily prompt (provided by SimplyStepping.com) to keep me on track. Today I’m to talk about what’s going well in my life. I managed to get up this morning; the weight of depression didn’t crush me. I saw my therapist and psychiatrist today, both sessions ending with a positive outlook on…

30 Days of Anxiety: Day 1

I have negative dollars in two bank accounts and a small change purse about a quarter full, mostly pennies. I haven’t been to work since some time in October, I can’t remember exact dates but I know that it was some time before Halloween. Leading up to that, my accounts were already overdrawn due to…